MY SUPERPHONE

Superpower of my mobile
In response to a Indiblogger prompt on If your phone could have a superpower, what would it be
If my mobile were to have superpowers, I wouldn’t like it to have anything extraordinary. After all, my phone is already smarter than me, and I can hardly figure out half the things it does. Any more powers and it will completely take over my life and treat me like a mere serf, and who wants to be bullied by his accessories?
But I do wish it would do some very vital tasks which no gadget I own can do for me.
For one, I need a gadget to find me things I have misplaced. I spend endless hours everyday to look for my keys, my wallet, my iPod, my specs, and even my phone. I wish my phone had the ability to locate all these things, after first finding itself of course. It could perhaps respond to my voice and disclose its location, without my having to call it from another phone. Then it would guide me to where I could find my pen, my keys and so on, as I name them one by one
But I’m going ahead, let’s start in the morning. My current phone wakes me up, but gets pretty inactive after that. In fact it bothers me with all kinds of calls I don’t want to pick up. That’s another thing it needs to learn. It should read my mind as to whose call I want to pick at which times. All others it should respond with outside of coverage area messages. That’s a superpower that would be immensely useful.
Next it would give me a gentle shave while reading out those messages which would not spoil my morning. It would know my mind and select only appropriate messages and deal with the rest on its own. For example, work allotment mails from my boss would get redirected to my colleagues. Loan requests and blackmail threats would get sent to my enemies. You get the general gist. A really super smart phone ought to do that.
It should also know which messages to delete when my wife is checking out my phone while I’m in the shower. Perhaps even edit the romantic message I was trying to draft to my neighbor’s wife to make it look like it’s meant for my wife. Now that would be really super.
My appointments for the day and directions to office it already gives, but it would help if it also warned me when someone I want to avoid is approaching so that I could go into hiding. A sort of message, BEEP..X Approaches…Washroom is unoccupied…Please take refuge… Something in those lines.
Another task for my Superphone would be, well, to scratch my back. Literally, I mean. You know those times when there’s an uncontrollable urge to scratch in the middle of an important meeting, or that irritating itch developing exactly where you cant reach it? My phone would discreetly send out tentacles and, well, scratch my itch.
After I’m back and have put my feet up on the coffee table and slouched on my couch in front of the TV with a brimming mug of beer at hand, my phone could do a final service. It would give me a firm but gentle neck rub, and sing me to sleep.
That’s the superpower empowered superphone that I would love to possess.