10 Nov

.Devil in heaven, 'I snuck in through the fire escape..'

Having read Ten Days that Shook the World and seen the film Reds, where John Reed is played brilliantly by Warren Beatty, I became a fan. Emulating my hero, I put up a sign on my hostel room ‘Property is Theft! Walk in’ and left the door unlocked. My friends pointed out that I had no property, and visitors would probably take pity and leave me something behind, but it was the principle that mattered.

I however attracted uninvited guests, the jetsam of the last of the flower children, who, in the eighties were still around, and drifted in and out of my room, staying for a while. But their story will be told another day.

I also learnt to consider all property as communally owned and borrowed items of clothing, furniture and transportation from hapless co residents, in the principle of ‘everyone according to his needs’. Old Marx had a capital idea!

My permanent guest was Ron, my friend and life coach, who, unknown to the University authorities, shared my room throughout my stay.

Among his many accomplishments was his skill in being an uninvited guest at every wedding or function in the vicinity. He generously imparted this knowhow to his many admirers. The trick was to borrow blazers or suits from our sartorially natty brethren, and confidently walking into the party. For weddings the best time was just after the ‘baraat’ or grooms party went in.

We would survey the area, zero in on the most promising party, and invite ourselves in. Ron even asked after the health of ‘Pappu’ a ubiquitous Punjabi name, and the host would often issue instructions for special care to be taken of us as Pappu’s friends. I understand that functions in that area budgeted for an extra five percent for us uninvited guests. Even when suspected, no one wanted to create a scene, and we survived on benefit of doubt, the innate decency of our unknowing hosts, and sheer chutzpa.

Ron’s height of cool was on display when we were politely escorted out of one party where we were unfortunately unmasked. He crashed another party as he had not yet had his dessert in the first one before being discovered and ejected.

Our crowning glory was gate crashing an international convention in a five star venue, which went off successfully once I dissuaded Ron from making a speech.

The biggest disaster we faced was when on entering a gala event, we noticed an alarming number of our professors amongst those present. We beat a hasty retreat, congratulating ourselves on our narrow escape.

But fate decided otherwise. A couple of years later, when I was a respectable government official, going steady with a very decorous lady, and my scandalous history a deeply veiled secret, it decided to strike!

Delhi had been savaged by communal strife, and I was working with a relief team, and noticed that our team leader was a senior professor from our University. I introduced myself as his one time student, who unfortunately had not met him owing to not having attended any classes, being a misguided youth, when he cut in.

‘Of course I know you! You were too busy to attend lectures. You were (in) famous. You are the guy who gate crashed our Dean’s daughter’s wedding! ‘

The super hit film Three Idiots not having glamourised this activity at that time, I shrank under the shocked gaze of my fellow relief workers.

A word of warning dear friends, our disreputable past has a nasty habit of catching up with us when least expected, no matter how deep you bury it. It is best to have a blameless history.


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13 responses to “UNINVITED GUESTS

  1. Ruchira Shukla

    November 11, 2014 at 10:57 am

    ouch !!! Its a terrible thing when the vagaries of our youth catch up with us ! I never gate crashed parties, but as a day scholar, I often sneaked in and spent nights in the hostel with my friends without the warden ever coming to know !

    Liked by 1 person

    • wiseguy from the east

      November 12, 2014 at 9:10 am

      🙂 yes, my daughter did that too. so did many friends in our time. Like I wrote, one friend spent the entire period as my illegal guest. Later I spent six months as one too

      On Tue, Nov 11, 2014 at 4:27 PM, Idyll Dreams of an Idle Fellow wrote:



  2. Samita basu

    November 11, 2014 at 2:27 pm

    Very humorous And Easy read. I like your way of story telling and reminiscing about your naughty and yet entertaining student life. Carry on! Waiting!

    Liked by 1 person

    • wiseguy from the east

      November 11, 2014 at 2:57 pm

      Thank you. :D. The floodgates will open. But don’t know how much can be revealed;)could get banned like Lord Ickenhams memoirs :p
      Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone


  3. skinnyuz2b

    November 14, 2014 at 7:38 pm

    I would be shaking with fright at the thought of getting caught in front of all the other guests. Your nerves are made of steel!

    Liked by 1 person

    • wiseguy from the east

      November 15, 2014 at 6:43 am

      oh we were terrified too. its partially for the adrenaline rush, like bungee jumping, white water rafting or sky diving. the free food is a bonus 😀


  4. neelk18

    November 17, 2014 at 12:47 am

    as always..humorous 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Orchid

    December 5, 2014 at 6:23 pm

    Ha ha ha! humorous read wise guy! 🙂 😀 !!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • wiseguy from the east

      December 7, 2014 at 12:32 pm

      Thank you Orchid. Stories of the dubious past 😀
      Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone


  6. wiseguy from the east

    April 24, 2015 at 9:26 am

    Reblogged this on Share Your Articles and commented:

    the sins of our past……..


  7. C L Shanthi

    November 29, 2015 at 8:43 am

    As usual your writings are very much interesting&keep it as always to cherish.

    Liked by 1 person


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