I am sure you remember the eternally popular film “Sound of Music” from your childhood. It had a formula for an antidepressant in the form of a song, for such eventualities as dog bites and bee stings. Both very painful events, of which I have had first hand experience, and can assure you that as a painkiller, the formula does not work. Raindrops on roses, for god’s sake! I can’t imagine anything less effective for dog bites. And I had no idea what were strudels. I suspected that it could be a powerful painkiller. When I discovered what they were, in a lovely hippy café in Manali, I realized that they were as effective as the raindrops. But Manali provided other herbal antidepressants which I had learnt to appreciate by then. And they were Very Effective ones too, and certain to distract one from the pains of bee stings.

The only antidote which the song offered which was of possible efficacy, were “Girls in White Dresses” Actually, any dresses would do. Or even better, no dresses at all. On second thoughts, I don’t think the song was talking of the same girls I am thinking of. They probably meant little toddlers. Yes, that would be more in line with the other equally ineffective suggestions in the song. Look at the other suggestions….Shnitzels, geese, whiskers on kitten, what utter tripe.

By this time the causes of depression also had changed. Getting F grades in tests and being dumped by the perfect woman, in white dress or otherwise, were far more painful than mere dog bites.

I , therefore, wrote the revised version.

Sung to the tune of –My Favourite Things,  from the Sound Of Music

Old Monk and Whiskey and beer in chilled bottles

Wine glasses clinking, and cars with good throttles

Pretty girls in bikinis that are held up with strings

These are a few of my favourite things

When you’ve just plugged, or when you’ve been ditched

Or when you are just sniffing glue

Think of a few of these favourite things, and you won’t be feeling so blue

The original lyrics for reference or nostalgia’s sake…….

“My Favorite Things (maria)” was written by Oscar Hammerstein Ii;richard Rodgers.

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles with warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites, when the bee stings
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don’t feel so bad


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